The following are three dreams I had, OH MY CRAZY BRAIN.

My Big Fat Greek Catastrophe

I gently woke up in a white room, with white sheets and those massive poofy pillows like you see in the movies. It was heavenly. I then soon realized that it was not my room. This beautiful wondrous white space did not even slightly resemble the utter chaos of my bedroom. I turned around to face into the room only to see a huge window, looking onto a small village in Greece, LOVELY.

While I was gazing into the distance, I heard talking a little closer to me, to be exact, someone who was in my bed. (FULLY DRESSED MAY I ADD). “Eliza. Eliza? Are you alright?” I then snapped out of the gaze to see that ‘Ronald’ was talking to me, and was still in my bed. I then remembered that it was quite strange that he was in my bed, considering I didn’t really know him very well. In fact, it was quite scary. Leaping out of my bed I started screaming my head off, as I didn’t quite understand what was going on. He was talking to me in a concerned but soothing voice, “Eliza! Calm down!” but I kept panicking about what on earth was happening. “I don’t even know you, really,” I stuttered, only to receive the reply, “Eliza. We have been married for 12 years. Remember our wedding? No? (I shake my head) Our first date? The proposal? Anything?,” now sounding just as confused as me.

Just at that moment, ‘Hermione’ walked in, holding a tray with two cups of tea and two pieces of toast. As I know her really well, I went up to her saying “‘Hermione!”HERMIONE!’ THANK GOD YOU ARE HERE! What on earth is going on?” But she just stood there, stunned at what I had said for some odd reason. “Hello? Are you alright? Please tell me where I am… and what… and what year it is… and ‘Ronald’…. WHAT IS HAPPENING?” She just stared at me with the exact expression of shock on her face, and then said, “Ma’am, you have never called me ‘Hermione’ before. Only Miss ‘Granger.’ All three of us all then stood in the room bewildered. By life.

Maths = Concentration.

The studies Maths class (REPRESENT) were all sitting in the normal state of confusion with the Tiffenator up the front, attempting to teach us Co-ordinate Geometry. But failing miserably. Then suddenly, I stood up and started screaming at her, how she was such a bad teacher, and she is bad at everything (harsh I know, but this was all in my dream) and finished off with ‘Maybe you should just leave.’ Then she uttered the word ‘Alright,’ and grabbed her books and left. All members of the Maths class were stunned by her sudden disappearance and didn’t quite know how to react.

Next Maths lesson, we all went to class and sat down. We all started doing exercise 32D and then realized, we had NO TEACHER. We subsequently organized a party in the Maths room texting everyone we knew and before we knew it, the whole Sound of Music cast arrived (except for the ‘Nazis’, don’t worry, they come later) but not as actors, but as the actual characters e.g. Liesl, Maria, Franz etc. The whole Maths class was again, in a state of confusion of what was happening, Franz and Frau Schmidt serving drinks to the guests, very similar to the Ball scene in Sound of Music. Everyone was having a jolly time until all of a sudden, the ‘Nazis’ burst into the room and the party was at a standstill. All of the Sound of Music characters disappeared rapidly leaving the Maths Class left standing in the room. They took our entire Maths class to the ‘Concentration camp.’

Which of course was on the Quad at Christ’s College. Several little white tents in the middle, with abandoned buildings all around. Every day, the ‘Nazis’ would make us all go to the College Maths rooms and scrub the rooms with toothbrushes whilst answering Maths problems that the ‘Nazis’ were yelling out. Of course for all of us, this was pure and utter torture. The ‘Nazis’ constantly said, ‘This is a Concentration camp for a reason you know. For you to concentrate on Maths.’

Then one evening, we all huddled into one of the tents in our striped pyjamas (of course) while I explained the plan of action for the next morning. We would all get our toothbrushes as they were the only thing that we had, and stab all the ‘Nazis’ so we could all escape to our normal lives. As everybody agreed, we had our toothbrushes at hand to get ready for the next course of action. 

All at the same time the next morning, we jumped out of our tents screaming our heads off while we were prepared for attack only to find that College had turned back to normal. There was not a ‘Nazi’ uniform in sight, only the normal stripy blazers with stripy ties. We were all stunned and confused, YET AGAIN. As we were all gathering together in a bunch expressing our uncertainty of what exactly was going on, one College boy came up to us and asked us kindly to ‘leave the premises as you are all on sacred ground and we do not believe you should be here.’ We decided it would be best to leave, our striped pyjamas really didn’t quite pass for the College uniform. As we were stood outside the College gates, it took us a good 5 minutes to realise that we were finally FREE so then we all strolled alongside Hagley Park back to good ol’ St Margaret’s College and returned to the Maths room to collect our belongings that would have been there for months. Only to find the Tiffenator. 

Scriptless Valentine

Rosie, Jess and I arrived at the Court theatre, about half an hour before the Scared Scriptless show, strolling into the venue in our usual way. The lobby was completely and utterly packed with people as per usual, but on this particular outing, Rosie immediately dragged me to some of the seats to a good-looking adolescent male seated on one of the couches and she introduced him to me saying “Eliza, *insert name here*, *insert name here*, Eliza.” (The name didn’t actually occur in the dream) And then she sprinted off into the far distance.

I then sat down and we had a conversation about oranges, also Jaffa cakes for some odd reason, but then conversation went up a level, and we started talking in Spanish, odd I know, but weirdly I understood all it (The sentences were like ‘the sheep was under the table’ and ‘I like earthquakes, but they are quite annoying,’ simple, but STILL SPANISH). We kept chatting until we all moved into the theatre for the Improv show.

I then returned to go and sit with Rosie and Jess only to remember that it was in fact Valentines Day The theatre was decorated with pink, red and white hearts, scattered everywhere; stuck on the ceiling, on the walls, on the stage and on the seats. EVERYWHERE. All of the audience sat down, anticipating the amazing show that was about to commence, but then as the lights were dimming, one of the Court Jesters jumped onto the stage and said “OKAY. It’s Valentine’s Day. WOOP. But for this show, the whole audience has to sit alternate boy, girl, boy, girl.’ So the audience shuffled around so we were in this specific order, only to find that I was greeted by a huge beaming smile from the attractive adolescent that I had been talking to before.

At the end of each skit, the jesters said something that you had to do for example, ‘Girls, hold the hand of the guy on your right.’ Of course this was the lovely boy next to me, the Jesters making us do lots of silly romantic things, the final one being ‘give them a peck on the lips.’ Just when we thought the show was over, they announced a FINAL CHALLENGE. They picked someone in the audience, and of course, this person was me. I was still at this stage holding the lovely fellow’s hand, absentmindedly I stood up still holding his hand, which was a tad awkward, but we both laughed it off. Then the conversation with the Jester went a little like this:

“Hello! So, what is your name?


“Rightio. So, the challenge is to snog the guy on your right for a total of 8 seconds. If you do it, we shall give you a prize of a bottle of bubbly, two tickets to next weeks Scriptless show and a single rose. Just out of pure interest, how long have you known this young gentleman?”

“Probably about 2 hours now? Yes, about 2. (Giggle)”

“OH. WOW. Okay, are you willing to accept this challenge?”

I then glanced over to my right to see him shrugging his shoulders in a way of saying ‘Sure. Why not.’ He then stood up and kissed me for the 8 seconds. Through the drunken round of applause from the audience, they gave me the prize and then rounded off the show with a song dedicated the two of us (Quite hilarious). Next thing we were standing outside the court, me with Rosie and Jess again, and him with his friends. I gave him the prize to him saying, “Give it to you’re girlfriend. She would absolutely adore it.” He then tried to say, “But I don’t have a…” before I interrupted him and said “Seriously, just do it. *smile and giggle*” He then took the gifts as we collaboratively decided to go into the Botanic Gardens for a midnight walk.

We were all walking together a big group, but then the two of us accidentally broke off from the group, walking to the pond at the back of the Botans, with the bridge. Halfway along the bridge, he stopped and turned me around to face him and gave me the rose. I was quite confused at this point saying “No, no, no, no. This is for you’re girlfriend.” His response was:



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